Controlling the Negative

How do you let go of negative emotions? Letting go of what bothers you is not the same as letting go of your emotions, when you become overly negatively emotional, you are only ‘stuffing’ or letting your emotions sit on the burner when you lend yourself to such arguments of the mind, harboring those emotions without any settlement; without any sentiment. Emotions are real; they represent experiences and responses that are painful. In letting go of our negative emotions, we learn ways in which we practice and observe these emotions we want to get far away from, emotions we must learn to observe, so that we can see clearly what we have to change in ourselves. Describing in words what the emotion is like is one perspective, also understanding the negative emotion(s) which beset you, the imagery of the result of what the emotion is causing in you. These are practices in Dialectical Behavior therapy, learning to look at the ideas, principles, and responses, which differ in points of view, which we learn to balance and measure and make positive. Some examples used in controlling emotions are:
 a. Changing--Not Changing……….Observe your emotion
 b. Good--Bad…………………………….Experience the emotion
c. Wisdom--Emotional Mind………Remember you are not your emotion
d. Talking--Quietude.…………………Don’t act on your emotion
 e. Acceptance--Approval……………Don’t push away the emotion
Accepting painful emotions can reduce the pain and in noticing the differences between pain and suffering you’ll know that suffering is the pain you wish to push away and that the feelings which cause injustice are what you want to be rid of. We must observe our emotions, know they are real and stand away from them when they become negative. Often times we must also experience the emotion(s) and concentrate on it and realize through imagery what that emotion is and how to become positive in another way with our emotions through our ideas of understanding. We must know we are not the reality of such a negative emotion, that it is only a part of us; not the all of us, for we are greater than the negative. We should not act on the emotion, instead relax with it and know that if you act on a negative emotion, that it could escalate, growing beyond control and last longer than you wish. Keep in mind you are the braver person for accepting the ideas you need in working to change your emotions. You deserve success and happiness by maintaining control of your life. Written by Donald S.

DBT: What is it?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a treatment designed for clients with self-harm behaviors, such as cutting, suicidal thought and suicide attempts. Many clients with these kinds of behaviors fall under a borderline personality (BOP) behaviors category.. They may struggle with other problems besides being borderline; they may face depression, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress, anxiety, eating disorders, and alcohol or drug problems. DBT is a branch of CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, developed in 1993 by Marsha Linehan, PH.D., by applying CBT to clients who practiced self-injury or made suicide attempts, even struggling with out of control emotions, she decided that going in another direction and adding another type of technique would improve the treatment the consumer(s) would be engaged in.
“Self-destructive behaviors are learned behaviors with intense and very negative emotions”. Emotions like shame, guilt, sadness, fear and anger are a part of the consumer’s life. The client is bound to suffer from emotional vulnerability, meaning that the person who is emotionally vulnerable is quick to lash out in anger, intensely and would be difficult to control. As I went through withdrawals from my drug addictions, I understand the anger and the retaliation others had experienced with my physical needs not being met and the hurt I experienced because there was no one there I felt I could trust to satisfy my needs and urges especially emotional.
There are three types of treatment in DBT – individual treatment, skills group, and phone coaching. Individual therapy has the consumer receiving once a week individual sessions for an hour, then the client must attend two hour weekly skills group for a year, in which they must learn four skills, Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation and Distress Tolerance. Consumers are also asked to call their therapist for coaching if they feel like hurting themselves. At this time the therapist gives them alternatives to self-harm or suicidal behaviors; medications may also be involved. The overall goal is to help clients create and live a “life worth living” attitude which is different from client to client in what they see is the kind of life they would like to achieve and live.
The balance between change and acceptance is formed, through “dialectics”, meaning to weigh and integrate contradicting facts or ideas. People struggle to have a balanced action, with thoughts and feelings and we must all work towards having passionate and realistic thoughts, with our thinking leaning towards the more logical, and realistic boundaries of life. Learning new behaviors helps change old behaviors that keep us from feeling like life is not worth living, in such we are changing our ways of thinking, “changing the balance of life”. Thinking dialectically you understand all points of view, yours and other peoples whom have a focus in life, yet there may be some wrong thoughts or views as well and that’s when we learn to weigh what is right or wrong and change ideas.

Written by Donald Sammons