Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The News and Recovery

I usually do not talk about the news when someone with a mental illness kills someone.  Although this latest one hit home, because I have grandchildren and I would never want them harmed in anyway.  My heart goes out to those families.  It is stories like this that bring on a bad image to people with mental illness.  There are online websites trying to change laws like the TreatmentAdvocacy Center I read their website every week.  To see what they say about what happened during the week and the changes happening around the country.  Also I heard on the news this morning that Governor Hinkenlooper is asking for changes in policies in the City of Denver concerning the mentally ill.
When I became mentally ill for the second time here in Denver, my mom called a mental health place and they told her that she could not do anything I would have to ask for help.  That was the law and I think it still is.  The same night she asked for help I was drinking and committed a crime and was sent to the state hospital.  I do not like the state hospital, although it was the best thing that happened to me.  If I would have asked for help out here on the streets I would not have succeeded as well as I did.  The state hospital gave me a chance to start not only my typing from zero also my life.  I was able to take a different fork in the road and change everything about my life.
It worked out good for me because I did not kill anyone.  For that I thank the lord. I hate being mentally ill when it happens.  I know when I read that someone with a mental illness killed a lot of people.  It makes others look bad at that person and all people with mental illness.  I also think how that person ruined their life because they or those around them did not seek help.  Locked up for life in prison or a state hospital is no fun.  I can remember when I was doing thirty days for a DUI and a person I knew told me he had just received a life sentence and laughed about it.  That freaked me out.  Although then life was twenty year before parole now it is forty years or without parole.  That is insane and I do not wish it on anyone.
I do not glamorize my years locked up especially to my grandchildren.  They only know me now and that is the way I will always keep it.  I do not put blame on anyone in the past for the way I was.  I am just thankful for my life now.  The people and the times in the past were just the way they were brought up and they loved in the way they knew how.  Although I would never want anyone to become an alcoholic or drug addict.  I saw too many young people become addicted to drugs and throw their life away and just want to do that drug and forget family and everything.
That is one reason I wanted to become a drug counselor was to help young people.  Although the politics of that profession made me change my mind and go for my masters in a different field. I could not help the ones I wanted to.

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