Control over my Life

It’s kind of estranged when your reality is not synchronous with the world around you; you might begin to think something’s wrong, that you might be schizophrenic and of course there are other illnesses which can cause symptoms, like delusions or hallucinations.  Getting the correct diagnosis is the first step in getting help.  As I had become a drug addicted teenager, I found I had very few friends and lost the respect of a good many people; success was not in using drugs, and I began to understand that there was something not quite right with the way I thought.  Fear began to eat away at my mind, having no friends my age, those I gained were much older than me and I didn’t understand anything about them, except drugs and alcohol.  As I grew older and finally taking psychiatric treatment, Alcoholics and Narcotics Anonymous seriously, knowing I was the cause of my own problem, other problems began to set in.  My social life had changed, not so much because of my past association with drugs, yet my physical health did.  Bad bladder, constant diarrhea, headaches and pains in knee joints and arms, I thought I was falling apart again, only this time physically.  I began to feel I was truly mentally ill besides being sickened by other health issues.  I did not concede to give thought that these illnesses were affecting me socially, yet they were and before I began my cessation of drugs and alcohol, I had no perception of any illnesses at all, yet those people I tried to associate with believed differently.

These health issues did affect me in the beginning and eventually the illnesses caused my few friends to wander into the sunset leaving me standing alone in my fears and anxiety as I began to avoid social fraternizing simply because of the control I was losing over my own physical health.

So how do you see your life as wonderful again, after nearly destroying yourself and those you love.  You can change your life for the better by taking care of yourself, both mentally and exercising physically, meeting new people in places where you would share some commonality and by maintaining your belief in that your treatment is working because you have gained confidence.  Take control, even if you might believe it will take some time to cure your illness, take the necessary steps and relate this to your doctor or clergy; he or she is a professional and they are the ones who can provide you with an effective working treatment.

Written by Donald S.