Still Recovering

As I wrote in an earlier blog I am a recovering alcoholic. I was on antibuse and counseling after my first DUI. They did not help me. The counselor they gave me both times I had a DUI did not counsel me the right way. People might think I am paranoid as I go back over how I was counseled after my first DUI. I was put on antibuse, although when they first put me on it I could still drink. I guess it was a low dose.
My girlfriend, whom I would later marry, told the counselor that I was still drinking. He increased the dose of my antibuse. When I tried to drink again I was very sick. That finally stopped my drinking. Although my drinking was stopped nobody told me why or even counseled me. I was only eighteen years old. My girlfriend and me married and divorced while I was on antibuse for the first DUI.
Even though I was divorced I still went to see this counselor. After my divorce he seemed like he really did not care whether I quit or not. Just that I took my antibuse. No counseling on my triggers or why I drank. To let me know there was another way to deal with life besides drinking. When the night came and I was finished with counseling and antibuse. I went out and drank. I had a bottle in my car and drove all over town. Even went to Lakewood.
A police officer tried to stop my car. I took him on a chase through the Denver. They finally stopped me without wrecking the car. I was put back on antibuse and the same counselor. He still did not help. I really did not receive any help on my drinking until my mental illness. There are more personal reasons why I do not like this counselor. Since the late seventies counseling has changed. I should know I am a drug and alcohol counselor that is what I originally went to college for.
I do know if that counselor would have only tried to help back then my life would have been different. Construction and drinking went together. I was doing well at my job they were even getting ready to make me a foreman. Then I drank too much and totaled my car.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I am looking forward to the day. I will get to spend time with my family that I do not see all that much during the year. Also to eat some good food and I can eat without worry this year. I went to the doctor yesterday and I lost six more pounds in three months’ time that is how long before I see my doctor and weigh myself. I am slowly achieving my goal. It is slow in achieving this goal, although I am sure this way the weight will stay off.
I still exercise and take my long walks on weekends. I still will be careful not to put the weight back on this holiday season. I believe recovery is the same way as achieving anything like stopping drinking. It is better done slow so you will understand what is happening and like the changes in you. I know my stopping drinking did not happen overnight. I believe it was twice they put me on antibuse.
I just waited for when my time was through with probation and antibuse and I could start drinking again. There were no A.A. or alcoholic groups for me. I just saw a counselor which is a long story in itself. I saw him for a half hour a week and we never talked about why I should quit drinking what kind of life I would have dealing with problems sober.
He did not like me so I was free to live my life as long as I took antibuse. When my time was up the first night I drank. Quitting drinking and recovery both are better if taken slowly. That way when you achieve them, they will be very satisfying.