I
have traveled partially around the world as a child, later settling into
Colorado with my family, I noticed I was saddened by all the friends I had made
while I was growing in child hood that were suddenly left behind, and just as
perplexed as to making new friends in neighborhoods which carried no décor of
ancient history, no space of hills or streams, no enchantment. The fantasy of childhood became a
lackadaisical definition of growing years older when you could not; the confusion
of being older to live and survive was denying adolescence. I sit around these days living memories, and
trying to keep up with society surrounding me and fearing failure, being all a
matter of time and need, home, energy food, transportation, water, and all the
necessities which were never necessities when I was a child. The world carries on, and I too wonder how
far does a person go in order to maintain their life without resiliency and all
the more a lack of motivation. I can
feel the indifference in my shoulders, I no longer hold my world above me for
the moment, and my esteem is shallow. I
feel like this some mornings, not throughout the day, just long enough to tell
myself that I need to carry on. Going to
the mental health clinic gives me determination to keep my inner strength and
my faith grows with the understanding of others whom have met with similar
emotions and scenarios of livelihood anymore holding on to those smiles which
say everything will be alright.
Focus
is the motion of maintaining the emotions, the ideas, and energy of our
lives. Knowing how we will achieve
reaching those boundaries and crossing them so that we have succeeded in being
what we choose to be. We can choose to
be healthy, or we can choose to be morose, even mentally ill. Some people don’t have a choice because their
illness may be more than mental, being physical, it may be harder to smile, but
when you focus on reality, knowing what you want, how you want to feel, and what
you want to understand, life means something more than hardship and you are not
at a loss to overcome the negatives in your world. Crossing into a new world, changing ideas,
means challenging not only yourself, yet building your strength, so that you
mean to be yourself, surrounding yourself with others whom have the same
strength and character as you want for yourself, with the ideology that you can
believe in something great and maintain your future with such the belief that
you will always be a part of the world you see.
Written
by Donald S.
