Tuesday, December 29, 2009


I sat and watched Christmas come and go, with as much quietude and open mindedness as I could conceive. I heard not very much of a Merry Christmas coming or going as a greeting or departing note, and smiles were not as tinsel or lights upon a tree. The children where I lived were somewhat quiet and as Christmas grew closer, so the silence grew.
I was reminded that my own life had changed that I had changed for the better, new job, quaint apartment, new acquaintances, and my life was different. I was curious and looked into myself, the struggle I had with drug addiction and alcohol, the kinds of people I associated with who were no different than my old self, the late hours and on-going days spent on the streets following shadows into dismal places, and the love lost of family and once ago true friends. I saw that it was Christmas, and I saw time unfolding into the New Year and I beheld the new challenges in my life, of facing fears and letting go of the olden dreams and the fearful nightmares of failure and loneliness.
When you enter into Recovery, your world slowly changes. The hallucinations are images as fearsome as the words which painted them, yet you stand before them and eventually you diminish them as reading a book and a clear pane of glass appears. You lift yourself up from the bent over crouch of carrying such a heavy load that weighted every footstep and thought and notice the load has become lighter, you have written the words in the sky and seen what to set aside and leave behind as painful reminders in the new world you are searching, never again wanting to touch the nest of wasp in the dark sheaves hidden among the rafters.
You wonder and smile in the mirror and it’s all good, self esteem and respect have a new acquaintance, and it’s you, happy to know a gift can be priceless as believing in oneself or others who have chosen to overcome the first step of Mental Disability and continue the traveling into their sobriety not matter how long the journey.
Written by,
Donald Sammons
December 26, 2009

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