Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Life after Schizophrenia

BEFORE I GET INTO The BLOG, I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND OUR READERS THAT The RECOVERY BLOG IS MOVING TO A NEW LOCACTION: OUR BLOG WILL CONTINUE FROM OUR NEW HOME:   In last week’s blog I talked about how I was first mentally ill in prison. I started behind the walls a part of Canon City prison waiting for my appeal and not at all sure what had happened to me. The sleeping pills did help, although I was not the same and went back to the hospital one more time for a few days. My new counselor there told me she was not going to recommend parole for me, because I was a danger to myself and society. She did not explain that I had a mental illness. No one explained that to me. I knew my only chance of getting out was my appeal. I was happy when it came through.
I was released and made a deal if they left me alone without parole or probation I would plead guilty and forget it ever happened. I was going to leave and head back to Portland, Oregon where I had family. Although a class came up that was accelerated computer class and I would learn typing and computers. I had to try, but all the stress of trying to do everything so fast, brought on my mental illness and I was sent to the State hospital for one day to life. I know that sounds crazy, think how I felt when I was sane again and found this out. I did not understand it could be one day also. I was mentally ill all the time throughout my stay in jail.
While I was at the state hospital they brought me around and that is where I found out I was allergic to Haldol. I knew that I had a chance here to change my life around and finally stay out of prison. Also stay out of the state hospital. I watched people here in the state hospital and some were there for more than ten years. To me they had forgot the streets and what a good life a person can have being free. I did not like being locked up in jail or in the state hospital. I started going to school at the state hospital and learning computers. Also my typing because I knew from going to that accelerated class out on the streets that I would have to start from zero and work my way up to be successful.
While I was at the state hospital I sent away for my GED and all the papers I would need to start college. While I was on pass I enrolled at Metropolitan State College of Denver as it was called back then. To change my life I knew that would be the only way was to start all over. I just never knew it would take me so long to get my degree and when I received it, I did not know at that time I would go on to get my Masters. That was not in my plans. I am glad I did though. I learned a lot more in graduate school then I did at Metro. All I can say is life is not easy and there will always be down times, although if you keep pushing forward it changes for the good. I have to say though that the hardest time I had being locked up was at the state hospital. It was like being half on the streets and half being free. It just made me miss the streets even more. I would have rather been locked up all the way. Although I do not think I would have went to college if I was locked up in prison this last time.
Prison offers some classes, although I would come to find out the diploma they give is really not worth anything. You could not get a job with it. After you put in all that time studying and trying to pass so you can change your life and it is worth nothing.JUST A REMINDER THAT THE RECOVERY BLOG IS MOVING TO A NEW ADDRESS: OUR NEW HOME IS: 

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