Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Prozac Nation

That is the title of a movie I watched last week.  It starred Christine Ricci and was dealing with depression.  I think she did good acting in the movie.  It started out with her cutting at a young age.  How she did not fit in with the regular crowd.   I do not have depression although I am a paranoid schizophrenic.  I could relate to her feeling different than the rest of society.  I too had low self-esteem throughout my years of growing up.   In the movie she is an excellent writer and gets a scholarship to Harvard.  She has a roommate and they get along at first.
My low self-esteem had me turning to substances.  They made me feel normal and I could do anything I wanted and could talk to girls.  When I wasn’t getting high if I did not know you I would not talk or relate to you.  Even girls I went out with had a hard time getting me to open up and talk.  I am a quiet person.  In the movie she was a good writer and even was writing for the rolling stone magazine.  Her mom stuck by her and paid the bills even though it was really hard for her.  Her dad hardly came around as they were divorced.
I believe that was hard for the part Christine Ricci played in the movie.  She could no longer write and was staying up for days trying to write.  Finally they talked her into seeing a therapist.  It took a while for her to open up and talk about what was going on with her.   It seemed to me growing up that nothing ever went right.  That is one reason I always felt different than everyone else.  One thing that happened to me is I just started driving and I was going forward and ended up going backwards and wrecked into my uncle car which he had just finished fixing up.
Now it was dented I ran away because nothing could go right.  I felt that even when I was using substances.  Even if I tried to do right something back fired and I was locked up or I had ruined something. If it wasn’t for family always sticking by me, I do not know where I would be right now.  In the movie she and her roommate part ways because her roommate cannot handle her anymore.  She asks her dad why he does not help her mom pay for the therapist.  He gives her no reason.
The therapist puts her on medication which from the title of the movie is Prozac and she starts writing again.  To me medication is a wonderful way to deal with mental illness.  I do not like me insane anytime so I take my medication.  I feel normal and for me having a mental illness for myself is not stigma.  Although I have received stigma from others because of my mental illness, although I know I can do anything they can so I do not let it bother me.  I received my degrees after my mental illness. I am not the same mentally like I was when I was seventeen and they told me the only thing stopping me from getting my GED was my age.
I received it a couple of years later just by taking the test and not studying for it.  I had to study hard in college because I am not the same.  Although it took longer for me in college I did not let that stop me.  I give this movie high rating it helped me understand a little more about depression and what they go through.

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