The counselor I had told me I was a danger to myself
and others. She did not tell me why or
what I could do to get help. She also
told me she was not going to allow me to parole. I knew I was getting out on appeal they did
not believe me because all inmates say that.
I was for real. They should have
told me even though I probably would have laughed at them it would not have
been such a surprise down the road. “The fact that a prisoner was untreated for
psychosis should be considered a risk factor for violent recidivism, they
concluded.” That is true I hope for
those that follow do not have to get out of prison only to end up back there or
in the state hospital as I did. My first
breakdown was in prison and the counselor I am talking about was at the second
facility I was at just waiting for my appeal when I broke down and had a mental
illness after being place in solitary confinement.
Then I went to the infirmary and the psychiatrist listen to my story and was going to declare I was insane but changed his mind and just thought it happened because I was not sleeping. He put me on a sleep medication called halcyon. They placed me right there behind the walls because he asked where I would like to go and I said there. The counselor knew why I was there and I was no longer the same inmate I was when I first entered the place. I went back to the infirmary one more time because I just was not myself anymore. Little did I know I would never be myself ever again. I was fighting the stress of making it without going back to prison. Because the two years I did waiting for my appeal was the hardest time I ever did in prison.
My crime I did to get sent to the state hospital was the worse and yes in could be qualified as violent. It is the worse crime I ever did that is why I do not talk about it. The hardest time I did in jail was following that crime waiting to go to the state hospital although I did not know that was where I was going I was insane. As for hating the state hospital I always will and that will keep me from ever going back there and being insane will always keep me medication compliant because I never want to go through that again. The state hospital even though I do not like it, it showed that time and groups and learning about yourself and mental illness you can change your life around for the good. You have to think that a person know matter that they do not think they make a difference they do. If I would have stayed drinking and drugging would I have met my grandchildren and have them on weekends to share my life. I do not know but am extremely happy no matter what I went through to get here. I also have the wisdom to make sure my grandkids do not end up like I was. To read that story here is the link.
Then I went to the infirmary and the psychiatrist listen to my story and was going to declare I was insane but changed his mind and just thought it happened because I was not sleeping. He put me on a sleep medication called halcyon. They placed me right there behind the walls because he asked where I would like to go and I said there. The counselor knew why I was there and I was no longer the same inmate I was when I first entered the place. I went back to the infirmary one more time because I just was not myself anymore. Little did I know I would never be myself ever again. I was fighting the stress of making it without going back to prison. Because the two years I did waiting for my appeal was the hardest time I ever did in prison.
My crime I did to get sent to the state hospital was the worse and yes in could be qualified as violent. It is the worse crime I ever did that is why I do not talk about it. The hardest time I did in jail was following that crime waiting to go to the state hospital although I did not know that was where I was going I was insane. As for hating the state hospital I always will and that will keep me from ever going back there and being insane will always keep me medication compliant because I never want to go through that again. The state hospital even though I do not like it, it showed that time and groups and learning about yourself and mental illness you can change your life around for the good. You have to think that a person know matter that they do not think they make a difference they do. If I would have stayed drinking and drugging would I have met my grandchildren and have them on weekends to share my life. I do not know but am extremely happy no matter what I went through to get here. I also have the wisdom to make sure my grandkids do not end up like I was. To read that story here is the link.
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