Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A Changing Pace

I was sitting in my 1st floor apartment, alone, my mind a blank slate as to what to do. There was plenty to do, shop for groceries; wash clothes, clean the apartment, and most of all write this blog for December. It had gotten darker as the minutes passed and I wasn’t in the mood to do anything; I was beginning to procrastinate, back-slide on my reality, let myself down and others.

In mental health programs, a lot is spoken about back-sliding or letting yourself down; this is also true of A/A and N/A programs, not keeping your promises and not working toward your goals. Being a mental health client, with the kind of diagnosis I have, I as well as others tend to drift, sometimes into negative thoughts, sometimes without any thoughts at all. I began noticing this, when I wanted to accept an invitation to a shopping outing, realizing I was having negative feelings about being in a crowd and walking for hours knew this was going on inside me, and being that upset, and thinking I wasn’t going to feel well I had to back out the invitation and understand what the problem was.

I waited awhile, at home, alone and began to search for something to do; still I sat quietly with all there was to do, finally reaching for the sewing needle and thread to begin to sew a pair of pants that had been hanging in the closet for weeks on end. I began to relax, and it felt good. I was taking control of the negative emotions I was having by focusing on something that made me feel relaxed. This doesn’t mean you have to darn your socks, yet something as easily, can relax the conscious mind and that what was needed, not an escape, yet something calming to clear the mind of excess baggage. Often times, books, or television or even walks won’t calm the high tides of the conscious mind yet something quieting as a pen and paper, paints or clay can unleash the negative thoughts anyone is having, if you’re willing to find the silence within to smile again.

Know that fear, and anger cloud our minds and if you realize that to keep your goal in mind to overcome your illness, you will become that much stronger, because you know you want to succeed at what you want to achieve, being better without being hostile or bored, growing with patience and pleasure.

Written By Donald Sammons

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