I am schizoaffective. Who can I blame for my mental illness, who is responsible for my health overall? Who can I blame for all the medications I take, for holding my hand when my symptoms overwhelm me or for the advice I receive?
Overcoming Schizophrenia: Whose to Blame
I live alone. Sometimes my symptoms grab me when I am quiet or full of life enjoying such, yet my illness still lets me know I am not in control at that moment when I can no longer decide, when I am fearful, when I know I need to reach for something else. Yet I try to understand and use what quiet time I can find to clear my mind so that I can go forward. Who’s the blame for this stop and go world I live in?
I found myself at the end of a work day many years ago, exhausted, with strength enough to turn on the television and stare at the colors of a world of caring and sharing, buy and sell. I got fearful as the darkness fell. There were no street drugs to keep me strong, no alcohol in my glass to forget the days gone by; fear, paranoia both a part of schizophrenia became a part of my life. This is the illness I was diagnosed with, the delusional thoughts, my fear of facing reality. I began to isolate because I knew no one would understand what I was going through; so I thought so I ran.
Even though I was confused and frustrated, I came to grips with what was troubling me; I could blame no one not even my own family for my mental illness. I understood I wanted to live again and living without blame is as great as living without the illness I bare.
MHCD and Mental Health Recovery
The people who work in mental health make a great difference in Recovery. Those suffering from mental illness struggle throughout a lifetime to overcome the attitudes, the physical and mental anxieties of their illness and there is no one certainty to place the blame upon because there is no known causation for mental illness, and only the willingness to overcome the illness is the overcoming of the blame; being positive in the face of negativity; learning to become aware you are real and who you really are.
Written By Donald Sammons