Hope

We all need it.  I always come back to writing about hope because people sometimes forget that things can and will get better.  When you are down it does not seem so.  I remember being at the State hospital.  I was confused when the medication started working.  I had been to prison before but this place was totally different.  The people were my age and like me.  Although they were different that the people in prison.  They played games and were not as serious as in prison.  There you played games you better hope you did not to someone who could kill you.

When I started asking how long a person would be there.  I heard from people that had been there for years.  Then they told me it would be almost five years before I would get out.  I also found out I was sentenced to one day to life in their so if I did not straighten up I could be there for a long time.  When after trials with the medication and they found one that worked for me.  I started just thinking about getting out of there.  They told me everybody gets one chance to get out.  I started thinking this is my chance to change my life.  I still had a friend that would not stop smoking that weed no matter how much I talked to him.
It was more important to me to have my freedom and be back with my family. I started going to school there and learning typing from zero to 40 words per minute.  I started changing my whole life.  I went to a drug and alcohol facility there in Pueblo.  I walked in a blizzard to an A.A. meeting because I wanted out.  I always had hope that I would get out and stay out.  I have been out of their now for twenty years and I do not want to go back.  I hate that place worse than jail.  Too many games are played there.
Just have to remember no matter how down it looks there is always hope. I never give up no matter what because there is always hope.  I just hope that I can instill that into my grandchildren.  My daughter gets discouraged but she keeps hope she has to because she has three children to take care of.  Things will always get better.