Living with Dual Diagnosis

Being dual diagnosed and having to maintain sobriety is something like climbing a tree with leather shoes on.  You can’t make mistakes in keeping up with your symptoms as you realize what your mental illness is about and you can’t backslide when it comes to relapsing when it comes to drugs and alcohol.  With the 12 steps of A/A and N/A to guide you, you must also look into the guidelines of psychotherapy and how you want to continue to grow beyond the misery you have lived in.  I look into my own life right now and feel slightly down trodden as to how my survival will continue, how I will live without fear or remorseful feelings. My problem is common with many people through the world, and that is looking for work and having not very much in order to live on or provide for loved ones.  Depression is a part of dual diagnosis, as well as schizophrenia and manic-depression, how well many consumers have felt the grasp of these illnesses, yet not so much when having to live on only so much because you are lacking an income or even worse a home to live in.  I began to see that those on social security or other means of an income provided by the government are much more the better off than those struggling without any source of income or housing.  I must maintain, obtaining my medications, seeing a therapist, gain employment and maintain a place to live besides other necessities in order to say, I am living.  I see other people slipping into other worlds, using drugs and alcohol because they could not find their way back into society by working, often times living in resentment because they cannot find peace nor do they have resilience.  Living with a dual diagnosis is virtually the same, having to climb a slippery tree and not look down from where you are, such as crossing a street and not looking back, the feelings the same, trying to overcome the hurdles which are boundaries before you.  I want to feel as if I have overcome my mental illness, yet as long as I know that I could lose my motivation in keeping my strength, I know I will be dependent upon the system to keep me climbing with some success.

There have been some intense feelings about my dilemma of  losing my job and having to search for another, or live off unemployment for a short while and those feelings are the very ones I have been diagnosed with.  Yet the smiles and laughter I once had seem to have highs and lows as well with me as well and all that I perceive makes me that much more closed about what is right in maintaining not only being my mental strength but my self-esteem as well.  

Written by Donald S