Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Paranoid Schizophrenic

This is the next part of an earlier blog from last week. I was released from prison and went to court. I made a deal where I would be completely free, no probation, or parole. I then entered a computer class that taught computers, confidence skills and faster typing. It was a fast paced program and they let me in even though I could not type. The stress to succeed and not go back to prison was on my mind. I knew after a while I could not succeed in this computer class. I became paranoid again. I started drinking again and committed a crime. I was sentenced to one day to life in the State Hospital. I later found out that means you are committed until they find you sane and you get an unconditional release. The day I was sentenced I called my lawyer bad names. After I became sane on the medicine, I looked for him to thank him. He did the best thing that ever happened in my life, to this day I have not found him to say thank you. While in the hospital as soon as they started giving me medicine, I started asking for one that would not make me shake. I had a dream already forming of working on computers and knew I could not shake in order to type. The doctor there tried two to three different ones and was giving up. I asked him to try one more time and he found an old medicine called Moban and a side effect medicine called Kemidrin. They worked for me, with no shaking and I could work on my dream. I was told I would have to be at the hospital a minimum of five years. I never forgot the outside world; I kept talking about it to everyone. There were people who had been in the hospital ten years. I did not want to be like that. Also while I was there a young man committed suicide. I have since met his dad and we are friends. It was not a good place to be at. A case manager that worked there asked what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I told her I wanted to learn computers. She introduced me to someone in Vocational Rehabilitation. He let me learn word perfect and do some of his work on his computer. The rest of the day I was going to school for math and they had an apple computer. On this computer they had a program called typing tutor. I started learning to type everyday until I reached 40 words per minute. One of the teachers there helped me get all the necessary documents together to start college. On a week long pass in March of 1993 I signed up for college to start in the fall. I was released from the hospital that June. If you want to know what happen after that look at an earlier blog titled My Recovery. Next week I will write about why I choose medicine.

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