Monday, March 14, 2011

I Promised Myself

I had been on home work assignments from college since Saturday afternoon. I didn’t know how to do it any other way; close the door and curtains and wish myself the best of everything. As I had finished one chapter of a class, someone outside made a very disturbing remark about how, “square and stupid I must be, and everyone else thinks so too”. I have been taking two college courses since mid-January and I almost let my feelings become shallow pools of stagnant water. Fortunately I thought about the remarks people were making about me, and I thought, “I just completed a chapter on Spreadsheets, and composing functions, without help”. I wondered on about the remarks, why would anyone care to think I would get angry or change my mind about what I was doing. Standing around making noise, drinking and just being under the sun and pulling someone else’s attitude into the ground is not what I cared to be doing.
In Strength Finders, I found “Consistency” a need in my daily life. I read about “consistency” for a moment and knew I could not predict my way through life believing in others who wish to show the upper hand and take advantage of others therewith time, space, materiality, etc. When you are diagnosed with a mental illness, it’s hard to find consistency or connectedness in your life, it’s too overwhelming at times and depressing at others. You would find it more pleasing to turn your eyes another direction than look the way which would cause you discontentment even trouble.
We use “Strength Finders” for ideas in self improvement of our attitudes and stability, not to mention our own work ethics. We use these ideas in improving relationships and I can honestly speak on the ideas which lift me from depressive moments or manic episodes. Since I had been given the book, my fear factor has dropped, and my ability to keep in stride with whatever project I am working on, even my own attitude and responses have become better, opposed to my past. In your recovery, take notes if you can of what is good, what would be the better, and understand what brings you “down”, and what makes you smile. It’s not all in a book, yet you can find a clue to uplifting your spirit when the chips are down.
Written by Donald Sammons

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