I was sitting in my front room Saturday evening, thinking about how shallow my college assignment was. I wanted to quit, and just watch TV, stretch out somewhere and forget it. A thought suddenly came to mind, and I would have cried real tears if I hadn’t of thought a bit deeply about how I felt and what was expected of me.
I am a high school drop out with a GED and two semesters of college. I work, ¾ full time, rent an apartment and have a mental disability. Sounds strange, yet part of my disability is to quit, just give up when I don’t understand anything about what I am doing. At such a point, I began to fear; I was afraid and I knew I had to keep going to keep myself in check, without failure, without letting the symptoms of my disability overcome reality, without taking me away from my endeavors.
Backsliding, manic phases, hallucinations or episodes of fear; they all cause catastrophe in a person’s life. When there’s no one to examine the thoughts then and there, that’s when quiet time helps ease the conscious mind, not TV, not radio, drink or drug; just quiet time, to sort the problem out from reality and get in motion with life again.
In Recovery, we are given tools to utilize time to get in time with ourselves, ways to check reality and use the abc’s of psychotherapy to overcome our problems. Give yourself a chance it’s new to you, your thoughts don’t cause you to be alone to say you can’t overcome a part of your disability because you’ll find it’s your heart that wants to succeed.
Written by Donald Sammons
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