Fear

I believe fear and paranoid are two different ways to look at a situation. I believe paranoid is when you believe people are out to harm you or persecute you. Fear is afraid of the unknown or even somebody or belief. I’ve been thinking about this since I settled my case with my landlord. I wrote about this in an earlier blog in February called “What is the right way". I did make them hire a lawyer to defend themselves and they still had to pay me. Although for me it was more the principal than the money. I wanted them to understand that you cannot just push people around whether they are poor or whatever. The reason I settled though was because there was a different Judge than last time. I did not know if she would uphold my rights like the last Judge was doing. In the end she did uphold my rights though. I had no reason to fear. Usually when I fear though I push forward, although in acouple or earlier blogs in January called “Paranoid Schizophrenic” I told how I was once sentenced to time I should not have done. It was a lady Judge and I think in my subconscious I was not ready to trust again. Now I have one more problem and I am not happy that they keep coming. I have to try and settle Social Security; they are saying I owe money. They lost the record of my appeal that I asked for around eight months ago. I am trying to settle this without having to file another court case, although I will if I am pushed to do so. I do feel fear when I think of it, but I have to push forward. I believe it will be my last time I have to fight. I like my new apartment and the landlords.