Life Changes

Last week I wrote a blog about how I do not understand depression. I would like to clarify that statement. I know people have depression, although for me with all I have been through it is hard for me to get depressed. I have been told when I was at the State Hospital that I looked depressed some days. It did not last though because I had to always have known that someday that I would finally get out. It took forever though. I think what keeps me going though is hope and the knowledge that nothing last forever. I know that no matter what the situation is it will get better. I was once sentenced illegally to nine years in prison. I should have been allowed an appeal bond. That is where I first became mentally ill. I was thinking about that situation the other day. That Judge taught me a big lesson. I will not ever put myself in that situation again. I do not believe she meant for me to become mentally ill. After that I went to the State Hospital, because I was mentally ill. That was hard time and a very depressing place. The reason I say it was hard time is because you have a lot freedom that you would not have in prison. You wear street clothes, go for walks and you can even buy regular food from their restaurant. I would have rather did my time in prison. Because even though you had freedom you could not leave. Another reason it was so hard was when you did go for walks. You met people who would only be there for a week or a little longer. I had to stay a lot longer than that. I’ve been through so much that I know after a while it will change.