Living in Fear

Hiding yourself from the many sights and sounds of your own mind; the city, loved ones, the mirror of dreams, is only one way to say you fear. Turning away from people who may only want to say “good morning” is all so negative as well, and again we lived a moment of weakness.
I have been in Recovery for over fourteen years. As a drug addict, “junkie” for twenty-five years I lived in fear, without respect, without honor. I have no one I can relate to in the real-world and most of all, I have no true friends. Fear has been the gardener of my shallow and unnurtured mind, and seemingly when I believe someone will accept me as being someone and doesn’t, I turn to darkness and begin relapse, feeling as if I were dumped. My life becomes shallow again; was it something you heard me say? Fear!
I am a bit stronger these days—I don’t care about drowning and laughing at the same time any more from inside a bottle or from inside a baggy. My smile is for you—HELLO! If I don’t feel accepted, I know there’s no reason to be afraid that I may have said the wrong thing, or wore the wrong color shirt; I had to learn from psychiatric therapy, not to think what I want a person to say in response to me—OUCH! Where is my mind? Fear causes the butterflies in the stomach—it’s the illusion we all need to let go of in the real world and do what we need to do—go where we want to go and once we get there—HELLO will be easy and you will find fear is not your enemy, but that extra oomph to walk with a genuine smile.
Healing is a matter of time
But it is sometime also
A matter of opportunity
Hippocrates 460—400 BC
Written by Donald Sammons
February 20, 2010

*Quotation from Hippocrates 460-400BC and some excerpts on fear are from the book
“YOU CAN’T AFFORD THE LUXUARY OF A NEGATIVE THOUGHT” by John-Roger and Peter McWilliams